Poo

I don't think I've been this embarrassed in quite a while.   Max got a hold of my phone and texted my neighbor.  It wouldn't have been so bad, but the conversation went like this:

Neighbor:  Thanks so much for being willing to help out.

Me:  No problem. Poo

I explained (hours later...when I noticed!)  but you know she's thinking how does a 18 month old type "poo" on a phone. Sometimes you really have to hate predictive texting.  And to answer the next question, I don't often type "poo" in my phone.  Really.  Well, maybe a few times.  But not to my NEIGHBORS.  I PROMISE!!  

So much to post and so little time before the ham is done.

While in Utah, I had a chance to get together with my college roomies.  They aren't as wild and crazy as they used to be...there wasn't any dancing on beds to Soft Cell but then again, we all have four kids now.  Maybe we have learned dignity or maybe it was just a public place.  Oh, and thanks Jodi for reminding me to take off my glasses for the picture.  I will be eternally grateful.  I look hideous in my glasses.   Case in point, scroll down to the Easter pic.  

Yes, Kate is beautiful.  I am not biased at all. 

J is actually happier than he looks.  He's in to pulling weird faces for pictures now.  I hope it is a phase.  

Hi, I'm Max.  I don't wear shirts because I get them soaking wet.  My mom says three shirts a day is my limit.   I also have no interest in Easter, eggs or candy.  I prefer to pull a chair over to the counter while my mother is not looking and steal her cell phone.  I like to text "pfdjskl" 23 times to all her friends.  I also like to call her friends.  She wishes I would get some of my own friends, but it is hard to make friends when you don't like to share.  

Sadly, this was the best shot.   I get to wear my glasses for the next 10 days because my eyes decided they don't like silicone contact lenses and I have--to quote the doctor, "road rash" on my eyes.  Besides hurting my pride to appear in these horrible spectacles, it hurts like----.

While in Utah, we visited the Children's museum. 

It was a tough news day.

He may look cute but don't, I repeat, DON'T try and separate him from his cop car.  He will fight back.  

We also visited the Zoo.  It was a zoo.  

We visited the G.G.'s.  Sorry, Kendra you got sacrificed in the search for a half-way decent picture.

Hayes cousins' plus one mom.  

And my favorite reason to watch baseball.  Actually, my only reason. 

The ham is done and I forgot to cook the asparagus.   I also forgot how to spell it.  That's what happens when you stay up late at night and eat your kids easter candy.  One for the egg, one for me.  You get the idea.  Look forward to angry diet-induced posts.  

April Fool's day

Okay, so I'm not the best food photographer, but you get the idea.  I had fun with the kids tonight at dinner in honor of April 1st.  The cupcakes are really meatloaf and colored mashed potatoes.  Ella was so excited that I was serving cupcakes for dinner.  She said, " You are the best Mom ever." Even Robert asked if the cupcakes had the kind of frosting he liked.  Ella was so mad when she realized I tricked her.  It took a little while for her to get over the idea that we weren't have "real" cupcakes for dinner.  Kate kind of knew something was up and J thought it was great!    I told the kids we were having a backwards dinner and so for dessert we were having sliders or mini-hamburgers.  Kate kind of got upset when she thought there was mustard on her slider.  As soon as she realized it was just frosting, she gobbled it up.  I got a good laugh and we had a really fun dinner.  Happy April Fool's Day!

*I'm not clever enough to think of these things on my own. I got the food ideas at familyfun.com.  A great website.  Check it out.  I think I might try the sushi next year. 

Jackson and the Bullion...

(Jackson showing that he is tough even with a cast.  Pose was his idea.)

Well, so much for a mini-vacation.  If it makes anybody feel better, Max stepped all over my pedicure and Hubby got the stomach flu on our only night away.  I did find some good deals shopping which almost made up for the smell in our hotel room.  Well, not really.   Anyway, mi madre reminded me that I have not posted pics of Jackson's cast.  I have noticed my posts have been a bit "inward"  (nice word for narcissistic) lately.   So I'm going to devote the rest of whatever comes out of my brain to   my crazy, little-man Jackson.

Okay, so Jackson broke his foot.  NO,  I did not lose my temper and abuse him.  Although that might be more believable than the truth: he was jumping off my dresser with his buddy onto my carpeted floor.  I know, weird.  He must of landed on his foot funny because it is fractured in two places.  He says he won't jump off my dresser anymore but a couple days after he got his cast, I found him sitting on our back wall--at least, five feet off the ground and a lot higher than my dresser, may I add. (!)  He came in a couple of days ago from playing outside with his friends and told me he had a surprise for me.  The surprise was that he could ride his bike with his cast.  Oh, joy.  Needless to say, the cast has not slowed him down or made him more cautious.  I've decided to set up a special savings account in his name and put money towards it every month to pay for all his broken limbs or to buy an ankle bracelet like the convicts wear. Or maybe one of those big balls with the chains--hmm, I'm liking that idea.   Did I mention his little escapade cost me $346?   

We went to the pony farm today.  For a couple of days now, Jackson has been warning me that we would see a bullion (pronounced like the cube, rhymes with trillion).  When I explained I had never heard of such and animal he proceeded to tell me that was because it bites grown-ups but not little kids.  He told me that I should wait at the gate to avoid getting bitten.  He was very concerned about this bullion biting me.  He mentioned it to me several times. I am relieved to tell you that the dreaded bullion never made an appearance and I survived the experience bite-free.  Although, I did get some manure on me and my white (what was I thinking?) sweater.  Thanks Max.   

Since I am just a recreational blogger, I am not embarrassed to admit that I have no idea what I am doing.  I would love to be able to make my pictures go where I want them.  Anyone?

On mini-vay cay.  Will post when had sufficient retail therapy and at least one mani-pedi.  Must fill the soul (or shopping bag) before blog.  Priorities, people.  Priorities.  

Are titles really necessary?

Sometimes I feel like my bun is a metaphor for my life.  I am wound tightly, secured into place with a stretchy but ever-circular band--not much escaping.   Then one day there has been too much. Too much.  And it all comes undone.   Today, I am undone.  But still, I can't quite let it all go.  I have been plaited, weaved, twisted and secured by even more ties today.  I hope that I can stretch enough and that it doesn't hurt when those black coils snap back.   

Evil. Pure Evil.

I've often spent too much time in the dark ,with a growling stomach, watching a certain Temple movie, wondering exactly what that one tempting fruit would have tasted like. It had to be heavenly, right?  An apple, no way, people, come on!  As a woman, I am fairly certain Eve would not bring about the fall of human-kind for anything less than some divine chocolate. I am now convinced that it was a tree full of cadbury mini-eggs. I sampled the whole bag-- to test my hypothesis. I can say with all honesty, I know good from evil. Seriously, I stepped on the scale this morning. Nothing but evil.