Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Max dials 9-1-1

 Max loves to talk on the phone.  He often calls me when I am out running errands to chat, tattle or let me hear what he is doing.  I was rushing like crazy one late afternoon this week to get dinner ready before I had to pickup the next child from soccer/kidshine/tennis/running/singing/piano, etc.  I asked Max to call Robert to see if he would make it home for dinner.  I helped him dial the number and leave a message.  Then a minute or so later, the phone rang.  I assumed it was Robert calling back so I gave the phone to Max and said, "It's probably Dad calling back."   I got busily back to work and then Max handed the phone to me and said, "Mom, it's the police."  Well, I started laughing.  Robert loves to play tricks on all of us on the phone.  He's called the kids from the our bedroom and asked them if their Mom was home.  He's called me before and said he was the police.   So I picked up the phone giggling away like an idiot and it was the police!   I guess Max decided to see what all the fuss was about and dialed 9-1-1 after he called Robert.  I explained what happened and told them we were fine but they insisted on sending an officer out.  Maybe they thought I was abusing prescription happy pills since I was giggling when I answered the phone?

 Max was worried they might take him to jail.  I was so mad,  I really wanted to go with that and scare him a little.  Luckily, the nice mom in me won out and I reassured him that he would stay safely at home but that I would probably be jailed and he would have no one to cook, clean or buy his video games for him.  Okay, not really but it was tempting.  I vacillated between lecturing and reassuring and I made him write and apology note.  I also put together quite a brilliant speech on why we shouldn't call 9-1-1 unless it is a life-threatning emergency, unfortunately, it was a little too late.  When I was giving the speech, I  envisioned myself giving it in thousands of households and school assemblies and all the kids chanting : We won't embarrass our mothers by calling 9-1-1!  We won't ever want a cell phone!  Alright, so I got a little carried away.

When the scowl-on-his-face-because-you-seperated-me-from-my dinner officer arrived (40 minutes later, I might add! We timed him.  I thought we should at least glean some useful information out of this bad situation.  It took him so long to arrive, I decided I'm buying a gun.  Actually, I'm not because if I can't keep my kid from calling 9-1-1, I shouldn't be trusted with a gun.)  He got a stern talking to from the police officer and I felt like I was a shoo-in for the worst mother of the year award.   We are probably lucky we didn't get the bill! Actually, now I'm worried.  I hope we don't get a bill.  Sigh.  Hopefully, we will all be using the phone more responsibly now.

Max and the Case of the Missing Shoes

Max has a mischievous streak.  He got in trouble the other day at school for picking up all his little Kindergarten friends.  He is fascinated by his tallness.  He talks about it all the time.   He certainly is testing me with his resistance to homework, picking up anything at all that belongs to him and his favorite pastime of dropping a shoe here or there (Never, ever in the same place, of course.)  That is why you will often see him with mismatching flip flops.  Thank goodness, he does not discriminate because it works out quite nicely that we usually have a right flop and a left flip.
On a side note, relating to shoes, this past Sunday we were our usual late to church selves rushing out the door when Max decides to throw a HUGE tantrum because he wants to bring his LeapPad to play with it in sacrament meeting.  I mean, come on!?  Really, Max?  How well do we know one another?  When have I EVER let you do that?  (Oh, yeah, that's right, your dad plays on his phone during church all the time.  Yes, well now I can see the confusion.)  Anyway, I calm him down and tell him to grab his church shoes so he can put them on in the car.  While I am speeding to church, I hear him utter words that strike absolute fear into my heart.  "My shoes don't fit me, Mom!"   No words.  Seriously.  No words.  And he was right.  It didn't matter how I tugged, pushed, pulled, wiggled, and jammed his feet absolutely refused to fit.  So, Max went to church without shoes on.  That's right, in his socks.  I was grateful they were at least church socks and not the regular white gym socks he normally tries to sneak by me on Sunday.  I tried to shame him.  "You should be SO embarrassed to wear only socks to church, Max!"  "Why, Mom? My socks will only get a little dirty."  (!)

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Erica & Robert go to London.

My first time in an English Pub:  I ate myself silly.  

Ben and I meet...finally. 

Buckingham Palace

Extremely helpful.  Saved my bacon a few times.  

National Gallery and then I went on to the National Portrait Gallery around the corner.  Awesome. 

Off with her head...anyone?  The Tower of London.  

The Crown Jewels.  I decided I needed some more bling in my life.  

The Rosetta stone at the British Museum

V-fest.  There are some crazy Brits out there.  

Backstage at V-fest.  I closed my eyes in the other picture.  But since it's my blog, you'll never see that pic.  Bwahahaha.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Robert and Erica go to Paris

"Paris is always a good idea."
I may have worn him out.  The balcony of our  Hotel: Les Jardines de Eiffle

Arc de Triumph

True love=sharing macaroons.  (By the way, I don't think you should have to share chocolate eclairs no matter how true your love is.)

La Sacre Coure

Monte- Marte

The Mona Lisa and someone's now  famous fly-away hair.  

The first day of school or Where did the summer go?

Jackson the Third Grader,  Ella the Fourth Grader and Kate the Middle Schooler.  

Just saving this picture to show his Prom date.  

This picture was taken right in front of the middle school about 10 minutes before school started.  Apparently, they do not let parents in the school.  I felt terrible; like I was sending Kate to the wolves.  I promised her that morning I would go with her to her locker and make sure she found her class, etc.  I hate that a stupid school rule made me a liar.  I had to send my little girl off to class on her own.  I walked away from this sweet face and sobbed.  It was worse than when I dropped her off at Kindergarten.  So AWFUL it should be one of Dante's levels of Hell.   I should also say that Kate had a great day and did fine.  Her day was much better than mine. 

Friday, September 14, 2012


This week in Max world:

Max:  Mom, how much does an ipad cost?
Me:  I don't know.  Like $600 or $700 dollars.
Max: I really want an ipad.
Me:  Ipad's are really expensive Max!
Max: How much was that new house you bought, Mom?
Me (totally distracted): A lot of money!
Max: More than an ipad?
Me: Yes. A LOT MORE.
Max: Why did you buy a new house when you could have bought a lot of new ipads???

Max: Mom, Jesus would like it if every day was Sunday, wouldn't he?
Me:  Yeah, probably.
Max: But that would drive people crazy...and wear out their Sunday clothes.

Max loves babies and his cousin Lizzy is no exception.  One day, I picked him up from preschool and he jumped out of the car as fast as he could and ran in to see his "Wizzy, Wizzy, Wizzy-bear".  And if you had spent everyday with me of the last two years trying to coax him out of the car in a timely manner, you too, would see this act as one of true devotion.  

This picture was taken at Max's request because he had to choose 3 special things to share with his preschool class and he wanted to share his sweet little cousin.  I love my boy and his Lizzie Bear.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Don't mess with my Cookies.

The other day, a nice member of our ward dropped off some BBQ spices/recipes and some of his own homemade smoked pork because Robert had mentioned to him that he was interested in smoking his own meat.  Anyway, Robert felt like he should give this nice man something to take home with him after he had been so generous to us.  We had a plateful of cookies left and Robert sent him home with the whole plate.  Ella was mad--she loves cookies.  Robert explained and said,  "What else could I do?"  Ella said, "You could have just said: 'Thank you', Dad!"