What we've been doing....

I think it's pretty obvious that "we" have not been blogging.  After a few nudges in the right direction,  I feel sufficiently guilty to actually post.  So here's what we've been doing:

I'm tired of posing for you Mom and I'm going to communicate that with my mouth.

Conquering rocks. 

Trying to get someone to slow down for a picture.

Appreciating Nevada beauty.

Taking crazy clothes day at school to a whole new level.  

Dancing to show off our craziness because we weren't sure you'd get how "crazy" we truly are just by the shorts we are wearing around our neck.  

We slept with all sorts of crazy things including our Wocket without a  pocket we made at preschool.  He was kind of a pillow hog.  

We watched and participated in a whole season of Basketball.  We also got some dirty looks for  our loud mouth shouting things we should probably only be thinking.  It's a problem we have and we are working on it. 

We inherited a great rocking chair and had it re-done.  Now it is happily living in Ella's room. 

We got very, very sick.  We had X-rays for pneumonia but those came back negative.  Diagnosis:  Infrequent intermittent Asthma.  Crappy.  

Tried to particpate in the politcal process by attending a rally with the kids and no husband.  We decided that we do not like crowds and were too worried about violating the fire code to enjoy anything.  Also, was so packed kids could not see or move.  Mom could not even get a picture that wasn't blurry. 

Went hiking in Red Rock canyon. 

Saw an amazing performance from David Gray.

Made crap-your-pants big bubbles.

We took some time to relax and enjoy our allergies  

We organized races at the park.  

We had our first big boy soccer practice.  We weren' t excited about it or anything. 

We sang songs and pretended we were famous at the Lied Discovery Museum.

We responded when duty called.  

We ate green pancakes on St. Patrick's day, pinched each other and Mom ran a 5K and came in 2nd place.  Of course, half the particpants were pushing jog strollers.  

We tried to learn how to vacuum.  

Instead, we learned it was much more fun to steal Mom's phone and take pictures of her bottom with her  underwear showing while she vacuumed.


It's been an interesting couple of months....

Cake Flop

I thought I'd get a head start on Thanksgiving and start baking today.  I've been planning to make this new cake recipe that has my taste buds standing at attention because of it's glorious chocolate, caramel deliciousness.  At the very least, the photographer was a freaking genius. Anyway, I have been hoping to debut this cake at Thanksgiving with the appropriate appreciation and maybe a nod or two to my skillful preparation?!   I carefully prepared this cake recipe from SCRATCH and I even SIFTED the flour.  Seriously, who takes time to sift the flour before putting it in recipes?  It's not like it doesn't get shaken around in the bag when I bring it home from the store and Max pretends it's a toy.  Did I mention that I sifted the flour?  Yes, and because the recipe author likes to make a lot of work for aspiring would-be cake bakers he/she also recommended that you sift your sugar, cocoa and baking powder.  I did exactly as the recipe asked--it could have been the Ten Commandments--I followed it so faithfully.  It took a lot longer than opening a cake mix box,  I can tell you.  I followed all directions except one teeny, tiny, wee, little, small, minute little sentence: "Let cool for 15 minutes and carefully remove from baking pan."  So 15 minutes turned into 3 hours. Has the recipe author ever heard of children?  Apparently not, since he/she has time to sift.    My cake stuck to the pan not unlike when you glue your fingers together with crazy glue.  If this ever happens to you and you look up what to do on Wikipedia just know that their solution is a complete and utter lie. Yes, Wikipedia lies!  Not to mention a waste of your time.  Hmmm.  Kind of like sifting.  You are sunk.  Your cake is ruined.  You might as well cry now instead of prolonging your misery with false hope.  There is NO hope.  Your cake is dead.  It is a crumbly mess.   All you can do now is eat half the pan and console yourself with the fact that at least it tastes good and grumble about all that sifting you did.


(Please excuse my writing, I have to take myself out of the equation there at the end because I can't really admit that I ate half a pan of cake to console myself, now can I?)

Stealing Cars

Today Robert and I had our "discussion" about how he needs a new car.  This always makes me a little crazy.  He does need a new car. His lease is up on his hot, little two-door Audi.  The Audi and I are not friends.  We have never been on good terms.  It's fast, yes but practical for a family of six--NO WAY.   Robert's brain was addled by its sleekness and beauty and so I have had to share a garage with it for a few years.  In my bitterness, I have felt for sometime that I should casually mention over and over again to Robert that this new car he purchases will be the FOURTH car he's had since I bought my humble mini-van.  Yep, numero quatro.  I'm just going to say it: My mini-van looks like death ran over it and then spilled chocolate milk, root-beer and apple juice all over the inside.  Death also dumped out a Costco sized bag of  Goldfish and then had a party and invited 8 of his closest friends with muddy shoes to stomp those fishes to smithereens.  Also, Death might have hit a fire-hydrant while attending church and side-swiped another car.  He might have also found a few miscreants throwing large rocks at it as the sight of the mini-van offended them.   In short, I am ready for a new car.  Sadly, Robert is not ready to participate with cash funds in that venture.

Anyway, we were on our way home from pizza night driving up Sahara, the haven of all things car, and Robert saw a car he was interested in.  The dealership was closed so we parked the car and he got out to go and look.  The conversation between the kids and I went like this:

Kate:  What's Dad doing?
Me:  He's going to steal a car.
Ella:  (Indignantly) MMMMOOOOOMMM! Seriously.  What's he doing?
Me:  He's stealing a car.  You know, sometimes Dad makes choices that I don't agree with.  I tried to talk him out of it but he wants to do it.  So when the police come, don't say anything.
Ella:  Mom, are you joking?
Kate:  (worried) Mom, what are we going to do?
Me:  I don't know.  I really wish your Dad would stop.  I've really tried to talk him out of it.  Maybe he won't get caught  and we'll have a nice, new car. Maybe.

Kate starts to cry.

Me: I'm just kidding!!! Did you really think Dad would steal a car?

I think they did!  We all had a good laugh and I was assured that my persuasive skills were still intact.  Because if I don't convince Robert soon, I may really have to go and steal a car.  :)

Today I forgot my underwear.

Seriously.  It felt like a bad dream.  Like one of those when you get up in front of an audience to speak to them about a spiritual topic and then half-way through your speech you realize that the audience  doesn't have their heads bowed in awe of your talents but rather because you have no clothes on!   Or you look up and realize that you are fully clothed but your audience is naked.  I'm not sure which is worse.  I suppose it depends on who is in the audience.  Did I mention that all your teeth fall out too?

I really wanted to fit in a workout today because I'm slightly obsessed but that is an entirely different post.  Things were really tight to make an appointment today so I decided to shower and get ready at the gym, then pick up the kids and run them to Robert in quick-get-away style. I got myself showered and got ready to change and realized that I had packed earrings, perfume, lotion, two different types of lip-gloss but no underwear.  I felt like a loose woman walking out of the gym without my underthings.  Then I saw a sight that made me feel a bit better, a woman in a tube-top with zero support happily bouncing on a treadmill.   She had to know that 3/4 quarters of her chest was free and easy, right?  Let's just say a few more bounces and it could have been the LVAC topless extravaganza.  So I walked out of the gym sans underwear debating whether or not I would join the woman in a gyrating dance and if men would stuff twenties down my knee-length shorts.  Just so you know, I decided against joining her (although if the men had been offering a cadbury mini-eggs...) and I did go home and remedy my (ahem) situation before going to my appointment.

Ridiculous!

Yesterday, Robert said this to me: "Hey, I forgot to tell you that I met Prince Harry while I was in London."  He forgot!!!???  Seriously????!!  I would have texted 20 of my closest friends, taken a million photos, sold his location to some paparazzi, and e-bayed his autograph all in the time it took Robert to remember to tell me.  Crazy.

Anyway, while Robert was rubbing shoulders with the His Royal Highness, the rest of us spent some time in Utah and Idaho visiting Grandparents and Great-Grandmas.

This picture was taken at my Grandma Lee's house.  I used to jump off that shed in the background with a rope and swing like Tarazan.  

I have so many fantastic memories of this field.  We used to climb hay bales, have bonfires, and my Grandpa built a couple of tree houses for us to play in.

Jackson being Jackson.

Max had a good time playing dress-ups with Cousin Addie. 

The tallest tower in the history of blocks.  We had to take a picture to record this momentous achievement.

This was kind of a sad trip for me.  It was full of reminders that life changes quickly.  My Grandma no longer lives on her beautiful property.  She is 89 years old.  Her house and belongings are being sold so that her children can afford to keep taking care of her.  My Mom and I went through some of her things.  I put notes on items that mean something to me expressing my interest in them.  We went through a bunch of old, old books that belonged to my Grandpa.   Books that he stored in the garage and that are the background of many of my memories of him.  We were always looking for some tool or talking to him or watching him work at his bench out in that garage.  He was a carpenter by trade and he was always building something for one of his grandchildren.  It was exciting for me to look through these old books most of which are dated in the early 1900's.  Many of them were gifts from my ancestors to another ancestor--a Great, great, great (maybe?) Grandma to a Great, great Aunt.  People who have been buried for a long time and that I never knew. They were names on a paper that once belonged to real people that lived, loved and read books.  It was sad to me to think that my Grandparents will be that to my children.  They will probably remember my Grandmas but they will not remember my Grandpas.  They won't get squeezed by my Grandpa Lee and feel his big, strong hands in theirs.  He won't ever call them "Sis" or tell them his war stories.    They won't roll their eyes or giggle when my Grandpa Hayes declares that, "He'll lead the singing." They won't hear him sing his silly songs or hear him snore.  It was emotional for me to realize that I may never set foot in the house that my Grandparent's built and raised their children in and played with their grandchildren in-- ever again. It's the end of an era.  It's the loss of those who are beloved.  I hope that whomever buys the house lives and loves as much as I did there and someday feels its loss as keenly as I do.

What I did today...

1.  I just spent the last 20 minutes deleting 134 videos/photos of myself shopping at Target.  If only they were all this flattering:

2.  Saying goodbye to some fantastic teachers and realizing that I have FOUR children not just the one and they will ALL be HOME ALL SUMMER!

3.  Woke up this morning and ate this:

5. Pinched myself for being such a lucky girl because last night I stayed here:

5.  And met him:

(Besties)

6.  Lied to my husband about posting this picture:

7. And this one:

8. Made excuses.  Like this one:  We spent the night at the Mirage celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary a little early.  Robert had one of those rare work hook-ups and was able to get us fantastic seats to the 5th Anniversary performance of The Beatles' Love.  It was all kinds of awesome.  Paul McCartney and Yoko Ono along with some of their progeny were there.  Robert refused to let me take pictures on my iphone even though I promised to be discrete. :(   But I digress, I do really try and be honest at all times but Robert was refusing to have his picture taken commemerating our 14th wedding anniversary celebration.  Why, you ask would a man married for 14 years refuse to let his wife take a picture of him?  Let me quote him: "Only if you promise not to post it on your blog."  What good is a picture that you can't post on your blog????  Seriously.  So then he asks me if I intended to post the pictures I am snapping of the room.  I replied, "Why, yes, I certainly do!"   He might of accused ME of wanting to brag to my friends!

So, I hope you don't take this as bragging and if you do then I should probably say that most nights I am home dipping my scrub brush in a bucket full of ammonia and scrubbing the pee off the bathroom floor because my boys' couldn't aim if their lives depended on it.  And if that still doesn't make you feel better than this should:

ARGHH.  Look at my hUGE  rear.  You can thank Max and his photography skills for keeping me in check.

The End.  Literally.

A fantastic, calorie-filled Memorial Day weekend.

First, I must confess that I stole these pictures from my friend Angela.  Thanks.  I was much to busy having a fabulous time to bother with pictures.  Okay, I actually got a night out.  Don't faint but Robert watched the kids. The house did not burn down.  The kids did not starve.  The roof was still attached to the house when I returned.  It was very sweet of him; because I can't remember the last time I told all my secrets (okay not ALL) stayed up late and ate treats with abandon.  Sadly, we were saying good-bye to a good friend who is moving to Florida.  We will miss her!

For Memorial Day, we took the kids to The Valley of Fire to roast hot dogs, eat chips and make ginormous s'mores.  We found out that Max has no fear of heights and may cause his mother to have a heart attack.  Ella does fear heights and she had a few moments of "freaking out" but did her best to be brave.  

You'd never know that they were driving each other crazy on the car ride.  

Max thought it was hilarious to pull up his shirt whenever I took a picture.  That boy!

We finished off the day with a swim in the pool and a movie.  I'm ALMOST looking forward to summer...