Sunday, November 20, 2011

Cake Flop

I thought I'd get a head start on Thanksgiving and start baking today.  I've been planning to make this new cake recipe that has my taste buds standing at attention because of it's glorious chocolate, caramel deliciousness.  At the very least, the photographer was a freaking genius. Anyway, I have been hoping to debut this cake at Thanksgiving with the appropriate appreciation and maybe a nod or two to my skillful preparation?!   I carefully prepared this cake recipe from SCRATCH and I even SIFTED the flour.  Seriously, who takes time to sift the flour before putting it in recipes?  It's not like it doesn't get shaken around in the bag when I bring it home from the store and Max pretends it's a toy.  Did I mention that I sifted the flour?  Yes, and because the recipe author likes to make a lot of work for aspiring would-be cake bakers he/she also recommended that you sift your sugar, cocoa and baking powder.  I did exactly as the recipe asked--it could have been the Ten Commandments--I followed it so faithfully.  It took a lot longer than opening a cake mix box,  I can tell you.  I followed all directions except one teeny, tiny, wee, little, small, minute little sentence: "Let cool for 15 minutes and carefully remove from baking pan."  So 15 minutes turned into 3 hours. Has the recipe author ever heard of children?  Apparently not, since he/she has time to sift.    My cake stuck to the pan not unlike when you glue your fingers together with crazy glue.  If this ever happens to you and you look up what to do on Wikipedia just know that their solution is a complete and utter lie. Yes, Wikipedia lies!  Not to mention a waste of your time.  Hmmm.  Kind of like sifting.  You are sunk.  Your cake is ruined.  You might as well cry now instead of prolonging your misery with false hope.  There is NO hope.  Your cake is dead.  It is a crumbly mess.   All you can do now is eat half the pan and console yourself with the fact that at least it tastes good and grumble about all that sifting you did.


(Please excuse my writing, I have to take myself out of the equation there at the end because I can't really admit that I ate half a pan of cake to console myself, now can I?)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Stealing Cars

Today Robert and I had our "discussion" about how he needs a new car.  This always makes me a little crazy.  He does need a new car. His lease is up on his hot, little two-door Audi.  The Audi and I are not friends.  We have never been on good terms.  It's fast, yes but practical for a family of six--NO WAY.   Robert's brain was addled by its sleekness and beauty and so I have had to share a garage with it for a few years.  In my bitterness, I have felt for sometime that I should casually mention over and over again to Robert that this new car he purchases will be the FOURTH car he's had since I bought my humble mini-van.  Yep, numero quatro.  I'm just going to say it: My mini-van looks like death ran over it and then spilled chocolate milk, root-beer and apple juice all over the inside.  Death also dumped out a Costco sized bag of  Goldfish and then had a party and invited 8 of his closest friends with muddy shoes to stomp those fishes to smithereens.  Also, Death might have hit a fire-hydrant while attending church and side-swiped another car.  He might have also found a few miscreants throwing large rocks at it as the sight of the mini-van offended them.   In short, I am ready for a new car.  Sadly, Robert is not ready to participate with cash funds in that venture.

Anyway, we were on our way home from pizza night driving up Sahara, the haven of all things car, and Robert saw a car he was interested in.  The dealership was closed so we parked the car and he got out to go and look.  The conversation between the kids and I went like this:

Kate:  What's Dad doing?
Me:  He's going to steal a car.
Ella:  (Indignantly) MMMMOOOOOMMM! Seriously.  What's he doing?
Me:  He's stealing a car.  You know, sometimes Dad makes choices that I don't agree with.  I tried to talk him out of it but he wants to do it.  So when the police come, don't say anything.
Ella:  Mom, are you joking?
Kate:  (worried) Mom, what are we going to do?
Me:  I don't know.  I really wish your Dad would stop.  I've really tried to talk him out of it.  Maybe he won't get caught  and we'll have a nice, new car. Maybe.

Kate starts to cry.

Me: I'm just kidding!!! Did you really think Dad would steal a car?

I think they did!  We all had a good laugh and I was assured that my persuasive skills were still intact.  Because if I don't convince Robert soon, I may really have to go and steal a car.  :)

Monday, November 7, 2011

Halloween 2011

Max as Optimus Prime




Kate as the Greek Goddess Artemis

Ella as Laura Ingalls Wilder

Jackson as Mario



Stop taking pictures Mom and let's go Trick or Treating!!!

The Pumpkin Patch experience

My kids wanted to go to a pumpkin patch and pick a pumpkin.  With soccer games coming out our ears we were a little short on time. We took them to one of those less nature patches and more games/rides type patches.  Robert and I took one look at the price of the pumpkins and decided to pay for a few rides, take a few pictures and pick our pumpkins up at Albertson's.




Mom goes to NYC and she has the pictures to prove it.








Fireman Max and friends









Playing Catch up: What else is new?

Since we did most of our merry-making for Ella's birthday BEFORE her birthday, I let her invite her friends from across the street to eat cake on her actual birthday.






Grandma and Grandpa Hayes's gift arrived just in time for the celebration.  She wasn't excited about it or anything.  


I just realized that I haven't washed my car since my last post.  I'm still giving the Cabin dirt a tour of Las Vegas.  I better get on that.  No more free rides.