Max strikes AGAIN!

Hi,

I am posting this while hiding under my bed with the covers over my head. No, not really but I do wish that Harry Potter's invisibility cloak truly existed and was in my possession for a few hours today.

How is that you can watch your two year old every second as he benignly plays and the minute you glance at another one of your children he is in mischief so deep there is no way out but utter embarrassment? Embarrassment for you that is, your two year old will think the whole affair is great fun.

Let us just say that a fire alarm was pulled at a public place that contained a hundred or more people. This one teeny fire alarm was somehow connected to about 200 flashing lights and 50 more fire alarms that were all going off in unison. If that wasn't enough warning that a two year old was not properly being watched by his mother, a recorded voice over the PA system announced that everyone needed to evacuate the building immediately. I had to make a counter announcement to the lady at the front desk that the chaos was nothing more than a two year old desiring to see what would happen when he pulled the red lever. Oh, and was she irritated. Apparently, she had no clue how to stop the sirens, lights and general noise-making. (I also don't think she has ever had a two year old.) Luckily, the humiliation only lasted about twenty minutes and thankfully the fire department did not arrive. (Although, on second thought, that might not have been such a bad thing. A little eye candy amidst ear-popping, mind numbing noise might have been nice, a silver lining even.)

A few other parents gave me a conspiratorial smile but I could not see the humor. I'm sure I will... in a few decades. As for Max, he was chastened for a moment at least. I'm pretty sure when he told me a few minutes later that he needed to go pee resulting in a dry pull-up and a successful potty moment that he was apologizing.

I'm surrounded!

I haven't posted about the delights of my gym going experience for awhile so I have decided to remedy that with this little nugget:

Dear Chubby Lady who sat next to me in Spin class today,

Please do not sing along to the songs while we are riding our bikes. It irritates me. You are not working hard enough if you can sing! Spin is not a recreational singing class. It is HARDCORE! Besides it is confusing because it really isn't over when the fat lady sings... it keeps going on and on and on and on....

Sincerely,

Erica who is grumpy when sweaty.

Dear nice older man with the crotch sweat stain,

I realize as a lady it is unseemly for me to notice this. However, I think you may have a particular problem because it is extremely difficult to miss as your bottom was in my line of sight for an entire hour. Khaki shorts aren't really the way to go if you want to hide bum sweat. It happens to all of us, we just hide it better. I would appreciate it if you would change your attire so that my ride could be a little more aesthetically pleasing.

Thank you,

No-where-to-look E.

It's official: Kate loves tennis! Who knew?

Touch-A-Truck

I took the kids to Touch-A-Truck today. I love the concept of kids being able to crawl all over various cars/trucks/motorcycles, etc. and touch/push/honk to their hearts content. My kids loved the idea too. Even the girls got really into it. It was good fun until Mom got a headache from all the honking. I noticed the people there had ear plugs in. I'll remember that for next time. My ears are still ringing. I hope the kiddies got "touching" cars out of their systems because my car can't take anymore love!

Mommy loves me!

Max is such a good sport during the week when I drag him to Costco, Target, and the grocery store--sometimes more than once. Today, I decided to treat him to a fun day at the park. He was so excited. I feel a little guilty for not taking him more. I am sort of burned out on the park. I firmly believe if you added up all the hours I spent in parks with my children it would equal at least a year of my life. So my new theory is to stay young and avoid parks as much as possible. There's only one problem: I would do anything for this face--even lose years off my life at the park.

Ella: The Ham

Scripture Study

We read 2 Nephi chapter 9 tonight. There are a lot of "wo's" and warnings in this chapter. I was feeling fairly good about my righteousness as I explained repentance and the atonement to the kids. The following were the reactions I got:

Kate: (Bursts into tears and wails) What if I don't make it to the Celestial Kingdom to be with Mommy? I know there are some things that I forgot to repent for! (Sob, sob.)

Ella: (Confidently) I don't think I'll make it to the Celestial Kingdom. I'm pretty sure I'll be in that second one. (A few moments later while I am trying desperately to calm everyone down.) I try to feel bad about some things that I do.

Jackson: I always feel bad about what I do!

Me: TIME FOR BED!!!

It's complicated...

So I was tossing my husband's stinky socks into the washer reflecting on what to tell all of you about my trip to Hawaii. It was good, it really was! But sometimes, I feel like good is to general an answer. I think it's complicated might be more accurate. Do you ever say what you really mean? Do you ever tell people how you truly are? Was my trip perfect? Does it live up to what you imagine? Probably not but I guess that depends on your imagination.

But can I really tell you, the unsuspecting blog reader, who simply wants to live their own lives and dream of their own sunny, blue, sand-themed vacation the actual, nitty-gritty truth? It's much simpler to say that it was good. If I say, it was complicated, one would naturally assume that it was bad. But it wasn't. It really was complicated. I would them be forced to mention that instead of many sand-filled, sunny days that we only had one and a whole 24 hours was spent by my partner for whom I desired romantic time with building a chicken coop. Chicken coop does not spell romance by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe for some? I could mention the family friend who took a day off work to spend time with us after already spending the weekend... That was nice except when you want to be two not three and you didn't ask the friend to take time off! Now I worry that you think I am complaining. I'm not, really. It's Hawaii for goodness sake. It's beautiful! We discovered a gorgeous beach and hiked to a magnificent waterfall.

It's like when you see someone and they ask how you are and you answer in the standard, "Good" or "fine." But really, you have a hang nail that is bothering the heck out of you or you're sad because you daughter told you a huge lie or you have been dealing with circumstances beyond your control for years and sometimes you feel sad or your husband would decided to build a chicken coop instead of sitting in the hot tub. But see, I would normally never tell you this. I would simply say that my Hawaii trip was good and all that it should be and we would move on. I wonder what is better? But never fear, to paraphrase Jane Austen: "The feeling will pass and most likely quicker than it should." But in case it doesn't, consider yourself warned, if you pass me in the hall at church and ask me how I am, you might get more than you bargained. I might feel inclined to start a long diatribe on how irritated I am by all the silly romantic ninny's who think they can write books about becoming Jane Austen or finding their Mr. Darcy! Argh!

Off to Hawaii...

Tomorrow. This is the picture that Kate wanted to take today. It makes her feel less like crying if she has a picture of me to look at. At least that is what she said. I am filled with guilt for leaving them. Max is sad and clingy. Sometimes I wonder if a vacation without the kids is worth the trauma.

What we've been working on:

Max has been working on his photography skills. Notice the chair he used to climb on top of the counter to fish out my camera from it's super, secret hidy-hole or so I thought.

The quilt and matching pillows that I have been trying to finish for at least a year! Can I get an AMEN? If you would like to visit the much photographed items come to our Hawaii house. They will be residing in one of our bedrooms there. That is, if they fit in my suitcase. It may come down to them and a pair of shoes. A difficult decision under the best of circumstances...

Kate is positive that she will be able to master the art of sleeping and reading at the same time.

It takes a lot of work to get your hair looking like that! Can you imagine the kind of nap he had? Which reminds me, I went to check on him the other night before I went to bed and found him tossing and turning and talking in his sleep. What was he saying? What was a two year old saying that can barely talk? Well, he was moaning, "No-no, Mama. No, Mama!" What does that say about my mothering skills when my two-year old is having a nightmare about ME? Sadly, I have very little conscience and it caused me to reflect for a mega-second and then laugh and laugh. I continue to say "No" so I imagine he will continue to have nightmares. I am looking forward to "monsters" however. It will be nice not to be the bad guy anymore.