1) Orange-peel colored wedge shoes were not made to run in, nor are they the best choice for jumping concrete half-walls when late to your brother-in-law's rock concert. Perhaps, they could even be blamed for an embarrassing, ankle-turning fall in front of angst-ridden, abundantly pierced teenagers. They could consequently be blamed for a limping escape from The Gossie Room at The Palms while scantily clad, surgically enhanced, intoxicated women watched. One might also hold them responsible for a particularly painful memory: Picture the JKHB circa 1995, a young BYU-coed on her first day of school is descending the stairs. She sees him. He is beautiful. The word fits. He is tall and has muscles in all the right places. She watches him as he effortlessly swings his backpack on his shoulder--his biceps briefly bulging. It's enough. He notices her staring. It's fate. They are star-crossed lovers, she decides as she steps down another stair. One more stair and they are married. Another stair and they have three beautiful children: Ryan Michael, Oceana, and can't decide on the third name. He will, of course, sweetly leave that up to her, she decides. He is that type of guy. Did you see those blue eyes? She misses a step. She falls. She lands at his feet, her ankle twisted and sprained.
(She will not find out this bit of information until she crosses campus, catches a bus back to her apartment, makes it to her second floor apartment only to realize she forgot her keys, she will crawl across the complex to the main office to get a key, open the apartment, have a good cry, call her mom, crawl back to the office to return said key, cry more, wait for roommate to return to drive her to the health center, wait FOREVER, cry more, swear she will never day dream again , give up men, promise to become a spinster and finally receive the news that she will be unable to participate in powder puff football for six weeks.) He
is nice. He asks if she is okay. She is purple with embarrassment. She mumbles yes and hobbles off as fast as she can. She never sees him again and is glad. She can't afford to sprain her other ankle...
2)
a) I may or may not sometimes put my iphone in my bra. Max, who always seems to be in search for the phone has noticed. He has taken to pulling at my shirt and looking down it and then putting his hands up in the air. shrugging his shoulders and asking where it is. However, this looking down my shirt and asking where it is motion might be interpreted in a not so flattering way. He likes to do this in public.
b) We were at Kate's soccer practice. Max had my iphone, of course. I was nicely chatting up one of the girls' fathers while Max was trying to put the phone down his shirt into his imaginary bra pocket. The Dad noticed and started laughing. He so got it. AH!!! I think maybe I should teach Max some nice swear words. So much less awkward.
3) I discovered the other day that Jackson forgot to wear underwear to school. We have spur of the moment underwear checks daily at our house now. We have about a 50/50 success rate. As Jackson says, "Why do we HAVE to wear underwear Mom?" Do they call Child Protective services if you send your child to school without his briefs??
My kids are scared to death of The Little Mermaid. Yes, the Disney cartoon version. So you can imagine the difficulty I had in getting them excited about the Harry Potter series. We started by reading the first book and as soon as we finished it was decided that we were going to watch the first movie and have a party. At our house a party is all about the eats. So we had chocolate covered frogs, edible magic wands, dragon dung, Bertie Botts all flavored beans, and of course different mix-your-own potions to drink. I printed out the house crests and the kids assigned us each to a house and made a badge/necklace for us to wear. In case you care: Kate-Gryffindor, Ella-Gryffindor, Jackson--Gryffindor, Max-Hufflepuff, Robert--Ravenclaw, Me-Ravenclaw. I was relieve to see the kids hadn't assigned me to Slytherin. I made them wait all day for the "movie party" so I know they were tempted. We had a great time and were only the slightest bit sick afterwards. :)
