And so it goes...

1.  I have a new fantasy.  In this fantasy, I never wash clothes.  I know this is politically incorrect and environmentally insensitive and wasteful, so I send my personal apologies to Al Gore and all the sweat shops (at least I'm saving water!).  As with every fantasy, I have more money than Al Gore, sorry again Al.  So here it goes: We are enjoying a lovely family dinner, sipping on red grape juice and eating gourmet spaghetti with the reddest of all red sauces, wearing gleaming white shirts.  (Did I mention that I look like Gwenyth Paltrow only with bigger boobs?).  AND THEN, J wipes his hand on his shirt instead of his napkin, E misses a noodle and it ends up on her lap, and not to be outdone, K dribbles some grape juice on her shirt.  I look around for baby M and see only spaghetti, I move a few strands  on this heaping mound and see some eyes peaking out at me.  Max.   Instead of the usual freak out, I laugh in a  let-them-eat-cake-Marie-Antoinette-way and smile at their spaghetti stained shirts knowing that tomorrow I will just buy new clothes and donate these soiled items, along with my obsolete washer and dryer to the less fortunate.  After all, someone will have to wash those dirty things.  Maybe I should throw in my bleach pen and Zout for extra goodness?  

2.  Did you know that the idiot who pays our bills has been sending her money for the power bill to the wrong account?  I know.  What kind of idiot does that?   I think I should fire her. Good thing she figured it out on the morning they were going to shut off our power.  That would have been bad, really bad.  No A/C in the middle of the scorching hot Vegas summer. Maybe that girl should get some more sleep.  

3.  Never leave your pool for three weeks without hiring someone to take care of it for you.  Unless of course, you like swimming in green algae and replacing pool filters.  If you do, then go ahead.  After all, a little slime with your swim just makes it exciting.