Adventures in Potty Training

I let Max pee in the bushes in the Costco parking lot today. There were 20 other cars waiting for the store to open/watching. This used to embarrass me. Now, I figure it isn't a problem as long as I don't squat down and join him. At least, he didn't take a dump in the neighbors' garage and bushes (separate occasions) like Jackson.

Are you sick of hearing about my trip to Hawaii yet?

Listen, I know you think I'm spoiled or maybe lucky because I just spent three weeks in Hawaii. But this is the real story behind the glamorous photos (read with dramatic voice):

1) The kids snorkeled for the first time.

2) I got in a car accident. In a rental car. The other car was driven by a teenager. She had a foul mouth. And a mother. Hawaii is a no fault state. It may or may not have been my fault. We are still alive.

3) My kids are tough. Really tough. They climbed down the side of a mountain holding onto a rope. I prayed.

4) Robert missed the Fourth of July. He spent it in Washington, DC at the White House. He missed 4 days of our vacation. 5 if you count the day after he got back and was so jet lagged he couldn't remember my name.

5) Lilikoi aka Passion fruit. My favorite fruit ever and it is obeying the commandment to multiply and replenish. I put it in everything...pancakes, smoothies, biscuits, muffins, toothpaste...just kidding.

6) Surfer-dudes that live on your property like to eat. ALOT. All the time. They may also think that you are their cook and they are invited to dinner and lunch every night. They don't do dishes.

7) Fresh fish, garden grown tomatoes, purple sweet potato, coconuts, pineapple,papaya, garlic-chives.

8) 5lbs. Seriously. Every TIME?!

9) Hana Branch. Way better than regular church. The pianist jazzes up the hymns. Sketchy doctrine is occasionally preached. Lessons about which tribe is better: Ephraim or Manasseh. (Manasseh, was in the lead.)

10) I saw my very first shooting star. I've been wanting to see one since I was a little girl. So this pretty much rocked.

11) Bosses that don't care if you are on vacation and don't understand the 3 hour time difference.

12) My kids like to cliff jump?! This amuses and terrifies me at the same time.

13) The beach, the pool and just hanging with the kiddies while reading depressing books and listening to them argue over goggles. Hint: Never go on vacation without enough goggles for every child.

14) Max took a vacation from potty training.

15) So much beauty everywhere--it feels surreal.

16) The most amazing, vivid rainbow I have ever seen. I was to awestruck to even take a picture. I think my clever sister-in-law had her wits about her and took one though. Can I have a copy Sarah?

17) Good company.

18) Max decided that it is more fun to yell at the top of his lungs to get my attention then to just say, "mamma." He decided to try this new thing out on our 6 hour plane ride home. I am deaf in one ear and hated by all the passengers on our flight. Let's just say that no one stopped us to tell us what well behaved children we have. I knew I was in for it when he said two hour into our flight, " All done plane, Mamma. ALL DONE!"

19) Realizing I have the best family. Ever.

20) Realizing that the humidity makes me break out. I love feeling fat and pimply while living in a swimsuit with lots of tanned, toned, gorgeous people.

21)Mosquitos. Evil. If I could do one thing for our world (forget world peace) I'd eradicate all mosquitos and cockroaches. Maybe even spiders, too. It depends on how many wishes I get.

Is it bad to post this without pictures? I am too tired tonight to hunt down the camera and load all the pictures onto the computer, etc. I'll do it when I've finished unpacking so...maybe never.

Happy 4th of July!

I know it's still the 3rd but I am working on my personal righteousness and I've decided that blogging on Sunday is EVIL. So, after some serious self-reflection and a few virgin margaritas, I have decided to seek more glory, eh, righteousness by not blogging on the most Holy of days. Don't cry, we'll see each other again on terrestrial Monday and I'll be back at my blog, diet coke in hand, ignoring my children to inform you about the important details of my fascinating journey. (In all seriousness, do you not LOATHE, how reality show contestants constantly use the word "journey"? It's completely ruined for me now. Such a shame. It had such potential.)

Anyway, Happy 4th of July. Wish you were all here in Heavenly Hana celebrating with me. Well, maybe not, because that could create a crowding issue and where would everyone go to use the toilet? And if everyone peed in the bushes then it would probably kill all my plants, right?

Peace out.

Hi-ee as Max calls it.

Betty

Dear Betty,

I am so glad to hear that we are friends! I was thrilled this morning at 3 a.m. when facebook notified me that you had decided to include me as one of your 743 friends. I really feel like our friendship is off to a good start despite the fact we have never met. Or wait, was that you, in the grocery store that commented (as I wheeled by) on the contents of my cart? If so, I'm glad that we could start a friendship on something so unassuming as hotdogs.

I do hope you won't be offended when I don't immediately answer your friendship request. I feel like we need to have a few more conversations (perhaps about broccoli?) before I let you know my birthday, my likes/dislikes, my other friends and view my kids pictures, etc. I'm sure that we will soon be the best of the best of friends. But let's take this new relationship slowly. I'm kind of old-fashioned that way but since we are friends, I'm sure you'll understand.

Sincerely,

Erica

13 Years and Alligator teeth

I have yet to train him. Or kill him. (I might have thrown a pillow at him once.) And I still quite enjoy his company. I guess it's a good thing I love him. I think I'm in for the long haul.

Jackson and the Alligator tooth caper

We found the perfect gift for Jackson: real, certified-Florida Alligator teeth. He was overcome with excitement and declared the teeth, "the best gift ever". He proceeded to show them around the neighborhood and insert them into water balloons and blow them up. Who would have thought one could have such fun with decaying teeth? A few days later, Jackson got to thinking. He had a whole bag full of these teeth and you can only insert so many into a balloon at a time... so he wondered, perhaps the Tooth Fairy might be interested in them. Perhaps, he could make a little dough on the side. This seemed a brilliant scheme to him. The tooth fairy likes teeth, right? Why wouldn't she pay some good money for the Alligator teeth? Besides, he was tired of waiting for his teeth to come out...

I thought nothing of it, until the next morning when I walked into his room and I saw his tooth fairy under his pillow with a few Alligator teeth strewn around it. Do you think his plan will work?

Good news: My Sister snagged herself a M-A-N.

(Picture stolen from afore mentioned Sister's blog at night while lurking.)

Congratulations! I love you. Now, when do we get to see the "hardware"?

(May I respectfully suggest that you view this post while listening to the classic Weather Girls' song, "It's raining men.")